Lose Weight Fast with Magic Beans....Guaranteed!

I seem to be getting asked a lot lately about “diet pills.”  “Hey, I’ve heard recently about a pill that makes you feel full,” started the question, “what do you think of that?”  Now I’ve been studying diet and nutrition and playing Fantasy Healthball for long enough now that I didn’t even skip a beat replying, “Well, yes, I definitely think you should feel full.”  “Full of water, full of fruit, full of vegetables, full of all the great food of the Food Formation in the right proportions.”  I don’t mind feeling full, when I know it is full of good stuff.   The last thing I want is some chemical making me feel full.  If you do, you will miss out on all the great vitamins and minerals and fiber and protein and all the great nutrients you body needs to stay health, fight disease, and thrive.  Don’t go for the magic beans, just read our Diet and Nutrition section and choose wisely. 

So then a few days later I’m hearing about this wonder drug, “alli,” that is flying off the shelves at Costco.  Being a good, cynical, card-carrying Gen-Xer, that is about all I need to hear to be extremely doubtful.  But Jeff and I will get asked about this so I jump online to do some research.  Their website says, “The pill works by preventing your body from absorbing some of the fat you eat. The active ingredient in alli attaches to some of the natural enzymes in the digestive system and prevents absorption of about a quarter of the fat you eat.”  So again, we are eating the wrong things and then counting on a pill to make it all better. 

But here is my favorite part: 

5. how do I know when I’m ready for the alli program?
You may be ready for alli if you can answer “yes” to these conditions:

>I am willing to do the hard work to lose weight gradually
>I am committed to following a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet (an average of 15 grams of fat per meal)
>I understand that if I take alli with a meal containing too much fat, I may get bowel changes known as treatment effects. The effects may include gas with oily spotting, loose stools, and more frequent stools that may be hard to control. Why? Because alli prevents absorption of some of the fat, and undigested fat passes through the body
>I am committed to eating smaller portions
>I am committed to making time to be more physically active
>I will read and follow the alli label

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, do “the hard work to lose weight gradually,” “reduced calorie, low fat diet,” “small portions,” “making time to be more physically active.”  You do those four things and you don’t need the pill that gives you “frequent stools that may be hard to control.”  You do those four things and you are golden.  You do those four things and pop empty pill capsules and you will get healthier.  You do those four things and you won’t need the magic beans.  Guaranteed.  — Jim Ballard

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